Started Smoking at 13 or 14

I just occasionally smoke,whenever I'm at a party or I am stressed. It relaxes me and it makes me feel better. I used to cut so it replaces the cutting and I am much happier because of cigs actually. It makes me sick though still. I have asthma and so it makes my throat swell and I know I should quit but I know I will start cutting again if I do and cutting really doesnt make me feel better like smoking does.:/ I didn't start smoking because of peer pressure like most people I guess, I was with my friend who was smoking and she offered me one it was just me and her & I knew she wouldnt judge me if I said no and it wasn't a I'm going to be so cool type of thing, most people my age are against smoking so it was my decision and adults just dont understand that it's not all peer pressure that makes kids do stuff.

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